Join us for this in-person NGM Circle discussion in Toronto! NGM Circles are facilitated discussions about the things that matter to us — gender equity, inclusion, mental wellness, healthy relationships, and social justice. Our focus is typically on how men and masculinity fit into the feminist movement, but folks of all genders & backgrounds are welcome to attend.
Patriarchy isn't exactly a word most people use everyday. Patriarchy, according to bell hooks, is another name for institutionalized sexism.
Well, what is institutionalized sexism? Whether we've ever really thought about it or not, we know there are many sexist rules and expectations placed on us by every social institution we encounter: schools, our families, religion, workplaces, the media, and so on.
These expectations influence many aspects of our lives, from clothing choices to taste in music, from the way we behave in relationships to the hobbies and careers we pursue, and much more.
In patriarchal societies, these sexist expectations separate people into two groups (men and women) and categorize human emotions, interests, skills, and behaviours as either being for men (masculine; think hockey) or for women (feminine; think figure skating). This difference also creates dominance, and in patriarchal societies, it's masculinity that we've deemed as more valuable — which largely benefits men.
But as much as patriarchy benefits men as a group in many ways, it also harms individual men.
To illustrate, think of what gendered expectations like for men. Some of the rigid "rules" of patriarchal masculinity are things like:
don't show affection to other men
win at all costs
don't let anyone disrespect you, if they do, retaliate with violence
it's better to be feared than loved
bottle up emotions like sadness or fear, because it's weak
if you're not working, you're not useful; provide.
Men who follow these rules can be greatly rewarded with power and status (or at least, acceptance), but at what cost to them, their relationships, and society? How might these expectations harm men? And on the flip side, how might challenging gender expectations also liberate men?
Can we imagine a world without patriarchy? And if so, how do we build it?
Join us on Sunday June 11th from 3-5pm ET as we dig into these questions! We hope to see you there!