My 5 Minutes at the UN

Originally published July 19, 2018

Yesterday I had the privilege and the honour to represent Canada and speak at the UN. I spoke on the work of Next Gen Men & Equity Leaders in engaging men and boys as part of Canada’s “Resilient women, resilient societies” side event at the UN High Level Political Forum on the Sustainable Development Goals.

“You were at the UN?! What on Earth did you say?!” Well, let me tell you…

What does gender equality mean to you?

To me, gender equality is about questioning, challenging, and reshaping the gender norms and boxes that society expects all of us to fit into. For boys and men, how often have we heard the phrases “man up!” or “boy’s don’t cry”? This is why Next Gen Men’s mission is to create spaces to engage men and boys in conversations around gender.

Feminist advocacy and activism has made incredible and important progress driving social change and gender equality all around the world. But, there is still a lot of work to be done. There has been a somewhat missing parallel conversation for and about men.

When the average guy thinks of ‘feminism’ or ‘gender equality’ they don’t think it has anything to do with them, but when roughly 50% of the population doesn’t feel a vested interest in a movement and that group has more than 50% of the decision making power in most spaces and contexts — it is infinitely harder to make progress.

This is why we adapt our conversations for different audiences and contexts including youth programs to reach the next generation of men, events at the pub for adults of all genders, as well as workshops & training in the workplace for leaders and future leaders.

I believe that by having these conversations we can unlock new opportunities for men to diversify their own identities beyond the narrow constraints of heteronormative masculinity. Freeing them to take on caregiving roles such as stay-at-home fathers or those in early childhood education and nursing or any other endeavour outside of the ‘man box’. By diversifying men’s identities to be inclusive of multiple masculinities we allow women, trans, and nonbinary folk to flourish in previously male-dominated arenas.

To that end, I commend the Canadian government on their investment in the development of a strategy on engaging men and boys in gender issues for the benefit of all Canadians — leaving no one behind.

What have you learned by engaging men and boys on gender equality at the grassroots level?

Over the last several years we’ve learned a few things in engaging men & boys at a grassroots level:

1.Meet men where they’re at. We know that a person’s understanding of gender is not an individual issue. Rather it’s a systemic one steeped in centuries of culture, we can set aside some judgements and defensiveness. We use empathy, awareness, and average joe language as opposed to academic or activist language. This way we can build bridges to those who have not had the privilege of an education in gender theory or experience in equity work.

Calling people in is far more effective than calling people out as shame and blame are not productive motivators for change.

2.Make sure the conversation is not about a pie. By that I mean that it is not zero-sum.

If women are “gaining”, men are not “losing” a slice of the pie.

We need to continue to invest in women’s rights, gender equity, and gender-based violence. New investments in engaging men and boys are critical to benefit women, families, and the communities men and boys exist within. We’re in this together as partners!

3.The difference between initial & deep engagement. Often we do “the work” of hosting a panel presentation or a school assembly to spark a conversation to offer someone a new perspective, it is important to keep in mind that this is just the top of the funnel.

The work of engaging men and boys aims to deconstruct and reconstruct centuries of social norms and culture, which we can’t do in 1 hour or half a day.

Which is why we offer programs over an extended period of time to take participants further into the knowledge, skills, and attitudes it takes to be a partner in gender equity.

Finally, a call to action. Men have and continue to benefit from historical structures of power. I call on my peers to no longer be complicit and to use our considerable privilege within those structure to share power, remove barriers, and elevate others.

Thank you,

Jake Stika, Executive Director

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