An Essay From an 11-Year-Old
Photo by Elia Pellegrini
One of the youth participants of NGM Alliance recently had an assignment for which he chose to write about masculinity. In many ways, he said it better than we ever could.
I don’t want to write an essay at all, but since I have to, i chose to write about masculinity, specifically toxic masculinity. The reason is simple. My best friend taught me a lot over the last year. One of the things he taught me is boys like to act tough. They put on this act because they feel like they have to to fit in.
I used to to it all the time too and sometimes I still do. You hear it all the time. “Don’t be a wimp.” “You act like a girl.” “Man up.” That is a big one. I heard it just the other day when i had a small cut on my finger and asked for a bandaid. One of my best friends told me its not that big of a deal and to ‘man up.’ What? Men can’t use a bandaid to cover a cut and prevent infections? I don’t understand it.
I’ve been to a lot of different schools and in every single school it’s the same thing. Everyday, someone is getting called a girl or a fag because they don’t conform to some set of made up requirements of being ‘masculine enough.’
What makes this toxic? Three words. Bullying, depression, and suicide. Kids who are bullied everyday are more likely to be depressed. Kids who are depressed are more likely to commit suicide. Do you see the connection? So what’s more important? Your ego or another guy’s life? Does it really matter if he’s wearing a pink sweater or nail polish? Does he have to walk a certain way to be a man or be good at sports?
None of it matters. What matters is his life and us learning to be mature enough to respect each other and love each other that are different than who we are.
That’s why I wrote this essay. Because if I have to read something out loud, it should be something to make the guys in this class think, and maybe even the girls. Just stop treating each other like shit. That’s all I have to say.