NGM Thoughts 09: Light Work vs. Shadow Work
I’m not a very spiritual person (call me overly pragmatic), but I respect others’ spirituality and the lens that they view the world through. One of our board members, Matt Corker, is a fantastic yogi (and overall person) and offered me this lens on some men’s work outlets which I’ve run with since.
Light Work
The intention: To ‘add in more light,’ create and take action toward new vision / new goals in one’s life—‘look to the future to pull us forward.’
The process: What do I want for my future? Often centred around reframing current realities in positive, uplifting, and generally empowering means.
Thinking of this in terms of men’s work this can be a transition from being an ‘average Joe’ to an ‘aware Joe.’ Knowing that the status quo isn’t serving you or society and looking for answers. You could consume TED talks, read books on masculinity, listen to podcasts from thought leaders, and maybe even attend men’s groups or retreats.
Often I see this manifest in lots of affirmation and encouragement on men’s worth.
Shadow Work
The intention: To create a relationship with my past/darkness to free me from its grip—‘we look at the shadows so we aren’t scared of the dark.’
The process: What is holding/has held me back? How did I get here? Why do things play out the way they do for me? What triggers me? What has hurt me? What am I biased against?
This is difficult in the sense that it requires a certain amount of self awareness and introspection. This can be the evolution within being an ‘aware Joe’ or even a transition to an ‘activist Joe.’ It comes with a strong questioning of why do I feel like the status quo or society isn’t serving me vs. an affirmation that it is not. Digging into this you can start to see a system of norms, identities, and structures that have built the current house of cards.
Lots of men that I know have gotten to this place have been trauma informed (read: bad things have happened to them and those around them) to get there and sought to understand how to heal/reconcile what happened.
There are some men’s groups that encourage this work and offer transformative points of view. I often say to myself ‘once you see it you can’t unsee it.’
(#TrustTheProcess anyone?)
One is neither better or worse. Both have a goal toward deeper self knowledge.
My feeling is that light work makes us feel good, so people gravitate to it, while shadow work can make people feel uncomfortable in taking ownership of the shadow rather than ascribing them to something external.
An important thing to note is that if we seek a balanced life, we cannot focus solely on one at the exclusion of the other. These are access points towards awareness of our lives and the world they exist within—use them to benefit your existence.
Thanks to Next Gen Men Board Member Matt for his additional insight—some of his words were used in creating this thought.
Written by Next Gen Men Co-Founder Jake Stika as part of a personal challenge to share some of our reflections around what it means to be a better man in today’s day and age. Join us every Friday for NGM Thoughts.