International Conference on Masculinities

Earlier this month, we sent our Program Director Jermal to New York City for the International Conference on Masculinities.

Since Jermal was way too busy to live tweet the conference for us, we caught up with him after he had a chance to process everything he learned and think about how it applies to Next Gen Men’s work.

What was the International Conference on Masculinities all about?

The purpose of the conference was to talk about healthy masculinities with men and women from every continent – there was a representative from every continent except for Antarctica to be honest – academics, advocates, and leaders from renowned international organizations. I think it was just about getting everyone together in one place, at one time to share ideas on gender equality and how we can create a better future.

The theme of the conference for 2015 was “Engaging Men and Boys for Gender Equality” and you were up early one morning for a panel on “Engaging Youth For Gender Equality.” What did you learn from that panel and the discussions that came from it?

That one was really interesting… so unfortunately most of the people on the panel actually weren’t ‘youth’ – I think there was one guy under the age of 25. But one of the things that we talked about was how older generations can actually learn a lot from young people. When we look at the younger generations, it’s almost easier for them to talk about issues of diversity and equality. Younger people have a different attitude and perspective, it’s more common for them to have grown up with someone who is openly gay or transgender and they’re just more aware – honestly, they can teach a lot to older generations!

And at least for the older guys, when they were growing up they mentioned how all their role models were the John Wayne-types, stoic guys, who relied on violence. Today, that’s changing, we’re seeing how there are different masculinities [emphasis on the plural] – it’s not the 1950s anymore, we’re not in the Wild West!

That’s a great point.  You also reminded me of one of the Super Bowl ads from this year that had the hashtag #LikeAGirl – where they asked some younger girls and boys and then some older adults to throw ‘like a girl’ or run ‘like a girl’ …and showed how this negative idea is learned when we’re growing up.  

Definitely, it’s something that’s part of our socialization of teaching boys and girls of what throwing ‘like a girl’ is.

Yeah, and we’ve got Mo’Ne Davis now! 

Of course! So one other idea that the panel talked about was the impact of male role models and how they can engage boys and young men for gender equality. One of the speakers was the Dean for an all-boys school in Virginia and he shared how his students have really been inspired to take up this cause.

The panel also talked about creating change agents – first figuring out how to make this issue relevant to boys and young men – but then identifying the guys who are particularly well-respected and have influence among their peers. If you can get these guys to buy in, you can really see them shift the whole group – I think this is something organizations like the White Ribbon Campaign are really doing well.

In public health, we’re often thinking about routes of transmission. With social networks and peer groups, if we can harness positive peer pressure to support these healthy behaviours and attitudes, that can be really impactful.  

And there were a lot of advocates in the room for men teaching men about gender equality, but also very aware that women have to be present, and at the centre of this work.

OK, so one of the other big themes of the conference was health promotion for men, and supporting healthy development for boys. Where did that come up in the other sessions you attended and the conversations you were a part of?

There were a couple really interesting sessions about friendship and support for men and boys, and breaking the “male code.”

The “male code” is part of this traditional idea of masculinity where to “be a man”, you’re tough and you hold back your emotions, you’re independent and you withhold information, you’re competitive and you defend your position at all costs.

But, the cost of this approach is your emotional intelligence can be severely underdeveloped. If you hold back your emotions – you can’t express yourself.  If you withhold information – you can’t self-disclose. If you defend your position at all costs – you can’t show vulnerability.  So when boys and men take on these traditional masculine roles, the skills needed for emotional intimacy are not there.

This is important for the kind of support network that boys and men develop and sustain… and the thing is, usually the older men become, the smaller the network gets. When the network starts to shrink, is when mental health risks start to emerge, because now you’re isolated.

So cultivating these friendships and supports is super important, and developing these skills of emotional intelligence is super important. If you’re emotionally intelligent, you can share with a friend when you’re dealing with something, and you can also listen when they’re in a similar situation.

Makes sense!  Last question to wrap up: so you heard all these interesting ideas and met all these interesting people… now that it has been settling in, what was the impact of the conference on you, and what was the impact on the way you’re going to do this work with Next Gen Men?

I guess the immediate thing I took away, is just to work on listening openly when the boys are speaking. In one of the sessions, it was brought up how boys reach out differently when they’re trying to communicate about something they want to learn or communicate something that they’re dealing with, like depression or an issue at home. Some boys only try reaching out one time – and it may not be obvious – but if they’re ignored  or they don’t get the response they’re looking for, that’s the start of them not communicating for a long time and just shutting down.

So maybe they’re saying some nonsense or just making a joke, but now I’m listening and then I’m like OK, now I’m going to follow with my second question – what do you really mean by that?

The other impact for me… for me, whenever I’m at a conference like this, it’s such a good feeling to be in a room with all these like-minded individuals who are really doing valuable work. And I think what I always need to remind myself is that feeling, that mindset doesn’t have to just stay in that conference, it can be brought back home, to our work, where ever I am. I need to carry that mindset, because it does no good to preach to all these people who are already doing this great work, we need to bring these ideas to other audiences, and to continue to engage people who don’t realize that this is their issue, yet.

— Qs: Jason, As: Jermal

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