Am I ready to go to therapy?
How do I know if I am ready to go to therapy?
Maybe you’ve been thinking about it for a long time, or perhaps you’ve had others suggest it to you. Perhaps it seems like the natural next step in the journey you’ve been on, or maybe you’ve hit a roadblock in your growth and want to get additional support.
Whatever the reason, if you’re considering whether or not you’re ready to go to therapy, this blog is for you.
Like many new experiences – learning a new skill, moving cities, getting married – you want to be ready for it. You want to be prepared. You want to know it’s the right time. Therapy is no different.
We can’t definitively say whether you’re ready or not — only you can determine that — but here are some things you might want to think about when asking yourself, “am I ready to go to therapy?”
Am I ready for therapy?
There are a couple of ways to think about readiness. The first is are you able to go? The second is are you willing to go?
When it comes to being able to go, if you’re feeling overwhelmed with day-to-day functions or covering your basic needs (food, shelter, etc), it could be tough to muster up any energy or resources to go to therapy.
It might be best to seek support first to meet your basic needs. Consider seeking help from those around you or calling 211 (in Canada) to ask about resources in your area.
If cost is a barrier, you have options!
MEN& has a 24/7 online chat and phone line that is staffed by trained counsellors & entirely free to use. From there, you can book free therapy sessions with their centre.
Alternatively, you may want to call 211 to ask for free or sliding scale options for therapy in your area.
Many therapists in private practice also offer sliding scale fees. They often will say so on the FAQ pages of their websites.
There are other considerations too. Time can be a big one.
MEN&’s chat and phone line are 24/7.
Some therapists offer appointments outside of regular 9-5 work hours (check their websites for their hours!)
Many therapists also offer appointments by video call, which makes them more convenient to fit into busy schedules.
Now, what about willingness?
You might be able to go to therapy – perhaps your needs are all met, you’ve got some stability, and you’re able to invest the money, time, and energy into therapy – but are you willing to?
Much of therapy's success depends on a person’s attitude: if you think therapy is silly and doesn’t work, then it probably won’t work for you. Your willingness is about your buy-in.
Sometimes, people refer to what’s called a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset. If you have a fixed mindset about something, you might think, “things will never change” or “I am broken and can’t heal.” A fixed mindset can be part of what keeps people stuck.
On the other hand, having a growth mindset means thinking about possibilities, things like “with time and effort, I can grow and change” or “things won’t always be this hard.” A growth mindset can help propel us forward instead of staying stuck!
What if I don’t trust therapists?
It can be tough to trust people on the best of days, let alone a professional with whom you would be sharing vulnerable personal information. It is essential to find a therapist that you ‘click with’ and that you feel you can learn to trust.
Trust is built over time, and most therapists know this.
You don’t need to open up to your therapist immediately (or ever) about your deepest, darkest secrets. You can go at your own pace, and there’s no requirement to share more than you’re willing to.
That being said, they can only work with what you give them.
It’s also important to know the professional standards to which therapists are bound. Knowing these rules can help you feel more secure in the relationship.
In Canada, psychologists and social workers are bound to codes of ethics.
To work as therapists, they need to adhere to their respective codes of ethics, which include rules around confidentiality.
Confidentiality means that therapists will not speak about their clients, their personal information, or their problems to anyone unless their client is at risk of harming themselves or others (read more about the limits of confidentiality here).
It also means that therapists are held to standards of practice by their professional associations. If you believe your psychologist or social worker has acted unethically, you can contact their respective associations to raise concerns and/or file complaints (learn more here).
What if I’m worried about going to therapy because people might think less of me?
It’s understandable to worry that if people knew we were getting treatment for a mental health problem, they might think of us differently. The stigma around mental illness still exists.
However, as a society, we have come pretty far regarding the stigma about mental illness and mental health treatment.
Interestingly, a 2019 survey found that 75% of respondents said they would be reluctant – or would refuse – to disclose a mental illness to an employer or co-worker. They mostly said this was because 1) they believed there was still a strong stigma attached to mental illness, 2) they didn’t want to be judged, and 3) they were afraid to lose their jobs.
Yet on the flip side, 76% of respondents stated that they would be completely comfortable with and supportive of a colleague with a mental illness.
So why do we judge ourselves so harshly when we wouldn’t do this to others?
Increasingly, people are speaking up about mental health challenges and recovery. This includes everyday people as well as people in positions of influence, like celebrities, famous athletes, and people in leadership positions.
The more we talk about it, the less stigma will exist. To learn about different people’s mental health stories, check out Heads Up Guys, Movember, and Jack.org.
Lastly, we wanted to offer a useful re-frame: many men think that they need to be responsible, reliable, dependable, and strong for the people in their lives. If you are struggling with mental illness or substance use, the best thing you can do to be strong, responsible, reliable, and dependable is to get support.
MEN&’s confidential and free online chat and phone line are available 24/7. These services are staffed by qualified counselors who want to help. Reach out any time with questions.
There is help available & you deserve it.
Resources
Heads Up Guys, Movember, and Jack.org.