When Are We Having Snacks??
© Next Gen Men 2016
We are almost half way through our first group of after-school programs in the York Region District School Board, and a lot of learning and growth is coming together with the groups at each school. We also had a lot of fun during our Fall field trip to the Toronto Marlies game (thank you to Kids Up Front Toronto for their generous donation of some amazing seats for our group!).
So far, each of our three schools in the York Region—Denne, Vellore Woods, and Ashton Meadows—has its own unique dynamic and character.
When we start for the first session of Next Gen Men, we always brainstorm a group agreement together to make sure the program runs smoothly over the course of our 10 weeks together. So far, one of my favourites for sure is with Denne Public School, where the guys decided to call our group agreement the ‘NGM Rules of MLG.’ MLG sometimes stands for ‘major-league gaming,’ but for Next Gen Men, we got creative and changed the meaning to ‘Men of Level-headed Greatness.’ What we came up with speaks to many of the values that we aim to instill at Next Gen Men, particularly around treating others with respect, listening to understand others and thinking before you act, and being the best version of yourself, ALWAYS.
Last week at Vellore Woods, we were lucky to have Jason (who is usually supporting Next Gen Men behind-the-scenes) come sit in on one of our after-school program sessions. The young men from Vellore Woods showed Jason an awesome NGM welcome during our check-in circle, our activity, and our recreation time.
Our activity last week at Vellore Woods was one of our foundational pieces about gender and masculinity, as we talked about some of the moments when we became aware of our own gender. Some of the answers that came up were pretty pointed, like getting hot wheels cars and trucks as birthday presents, going through puberty and noticing physical changes in our bodies, and remembering what it felt like and how we responded when someone said ‘you’re acting like a girl.’ As we talked further, we discussed how sometimes other people assume what our gender is without giving us a say in the matter, like when the blue or pink clothes are already picked out before a baby is even born! It’s going to be really interesting unpacking some of these ideas further with the guys in the coming weeks.
At Ashton Meadows, I am super excited to have Sonia joining me to co-facilitate some of our activities and discussions. It feels like this group is really starting to open up and be themselves as the dynamic is coming together, so we might be onto something here. And we just put together a pretty sweet ‘mannequin challenge video—help us go viral!
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Week after week, the most common question I still seem to get in program is, “When are we having snacks?” usually followed by “I’m starving.” This is actually one my favourite questions that I hear in program because it means that we have completed our check-in circle, gone through some activities, and moved into our debrief and discussion. During some of the down time that we have for snacks, I get to connect with some of the guys one-on-one or in smaller groups and learn about what’s going on in everyone’s lives.
We have also implemented the practice of sharing a positive compliment about another participant in the program while we’re having our snacks. At first, this usually starts off with some giggles and something like, “I like your hat.” But as the weeks progress, the compliments become more genuine and the laughs start to fade, as everyone starts to thank others in the group for something meaningful, like their friendship inside and outside the program.
So even though I hear it pretty much every day in program (probably 50 times within 30 minutes), “When are we having snacks?” will always be one of my favourite questions at NGM.
Before I sign off, I want to give a shout out to the new team members at NGM, Sonia, Stefan, and Jeff who have made my work much more enjoyable and a little less stressful. I have the best team in the world and I look forward to the many adventures together in our after-school program.
Til next time,
Jermal