Talking About Kobe and Sexual Assault
Photo by Harry How
By Jonathon Reed
You probably heard about Kobe Bryant’s death a couple of weeks ago. He was a legend in the NBA, with five championships and two Olympic medals throughout his 20 seasons with the Los Angeles Lakers. You may have also heard that he charged for sexual assault in 2003 in a case that was ultimately dropped when the victim told the prosecutors she was unwilling to testify.
Kobe’s force in the NBA makes him a formative role model for many adolescent boys, and his connection to sexual assault makes that potentially murky. So with that in mind, I listened to German Villegas’ Modern Manhood episode on Kobe Bryant over the weekend, and there are two main things I want to share.
The first is that Kobe Bryant is part of a long line of men who have gotten away with sexual violence while women have faced the consequences. This happened in 2003, when almost half of the articles published about Kobe Bryant’s sexual assault case suggested that the ‘accuser’ was lying. It also happened last week, when a reporter who tweeted about the sexual assault case was doxxed by online harassers and put on administrative leave by the Washington Post. So it’s true that the survivors’ ongoing reluctance to report sexual assault is part of Kobe Bryant’s legacy.
Yet it’s also true that Kobe believed the woman when she said she did not feel their encounter was consensual, and he issued a written apology in which he said: “I want to apologize to her for my behavior that night and for the consequences she has suffered in the past year. Although this year has been incredibly difficult for me personally, I can only imagine the pain she has had to endure.”
So I think to skirt around the sexual assault case when talking about Kobe with adolescent boys is a missed opportunity. Kobe’s story creates a space to challenge the Trump-era notion of a ‘witch hunt’ against men, and allows boys to reflect on making mistakes and making amends.
What does it mean to consider Kobe a role model? Maybe it means believing survivors of sexual violence and challenging those that blame victims. Maybe it means learning about historical injustices like the lynching of Emmett Till or present forces like the true shooting percentage of Nneka Ogwumike. Let this be the start of a conversation, rather than the end.
ICYMI This Week
Boys Will Be Swans: ‘What Is That Show, and How Do I Do It?’ (The New York Times)
The Surprising Science Behind Friendship (The Wall Street Journal)
Judith Butler Wants Us to Reshape Our Rage (The New Yorker)
Written by Next Gen Men Program Manager Jonathon Reed as part of Learnings & Unlearnings, a weekly newsletter reflecting on our experiences working with boys and young men. Subscribe to get Learnings & Unlearnings delivered to your email inbox.