Self-Care (open) secrets from NGM Circle of Care
Think back just a few months ago, and try to remember what your daily priorities were. We’re willing to bet they’re a lot different now.
The stakes are suddenly a lot higher. Now, “take care of yourself” is more than just another way to say goodbye.
It’s also way less simple than it sounds. Whether we’re staying in, venturing out, stocking up, or hunkering down, everything we do comes with a tangle of implications to work through.
This past week at NGM Circle of Care, we talked Self-Care, with our NGM friends at Movember Canada, the YEG Wellness Collective, and Toronto-based psychotherapist Alex Cameron.
To share something with you from that discussion, here are some areas we explored, framed around the Next Gen Men pillars we teach boys and young men in our youth program: Self, Health and Others.
Self
Chances are you already know what you need to take care of yourself. Chances are you lose sight of them from time to time.
Maybe it’s going for runs, hitting the yoga mat, doing mindfulness meditation, or playing crib with your partner — they’re the things you do for yourself that alleviate distress or pain, that help you feel healthy, happy, and peaceful.
“When we engage in activities that truly amplify joy in our life, we are counteracting the effects of the adrenaline and cortisol released in stressful moments, which is much healthier,” says Toronto-based psychotherapist and NGM friend Alex Cameron.
The trick, he says, is knowing what they’re not. Binging Netflix, cracking a few beers, or disappearing into gaming for days at a time may seem like pain alleviation, but too often we’re just confusing self-care with escape or avoidance.
When we avoid feelings or situations, we are simply finding a temporary escape from the negative experience, and we come back to the issue no better off in our outlook. All we have done in that instance is spent some time away from the issue.
How can you tell the difference? Think about doing things that really recharge you or re-energize you: that’s self-care.
Health
Taking care of your physical health is a key part of the equation too. That takes many forms, says our NGM friends at the YEG Wellness Collective in Edmonton.
The YEG Wellness Collective is a dynamic duo of health practitioners, a nurse and a therapist, who know that health is holistic, and has many angles to consider: the physical, yes, but also the mental, and the spiritual.
(And financial, environmental, and way, way more — for useful tips, inspiration and information, we love the YEG Wellness Collective’s blog. Check it out here!)
These days, now that our health routines are disrupted, they recommend turning our attention and intentions to those daily routines of ours, and how we could make new ones that are more holistically healthy.
Yoga and stretching will help you feel strong and relaxed, and the internet is full of tutorials to help you learn. Pushups are an adaptable form of exercise, one that fits into your living room or short windows of time, and one with benefits for both building strength and fighting cardiovascular disease, which impacts countless men.
But our friends at the YEG Wellness Collective remind us that health isn’t just about workouts.
It could be cooking, reading, scrapbooking, journalling,crafting, embroidery, dance, or visual arts — there’s all kinds of things you can add to your routine, or just try for the sake of something new, that will help keep your body moving, your mind sharp, and your soul humming.
Others
Creating connection with another person — especially when that person is experiencing depression, anxiety or any kind of emotional distress — is easier said than done.
Face to face, in many cases, isn’t an option anymore. Hopping on a Zoom call works great for some people, but is a barrier for others.
So do can you effectively reach out to the people in your lives in ways that will forge connection, and serve as a real emotional support? How do you get past “I’m fine.”
Our friends at Movember Canada have a great model for how to approach conversations around mental health and wellness, called ALEC.
A – ASK how someone is doing.
L – LISTEN, really listen to the answer.
E – ENCOURAGE action, even small steps make a difference.
C – CHECK-IN, circle back and follow-up, it can make all the difference.
(To take a deeper dive into this approach, check out this awesome resource from Movember Canada on how that conversation might flow.)
The Other Kind of Heart Workout
Taking care of ourselves is important because it’s not just about taking care of ourselves: it’s about the people who count on us, and making sure we have the health and energy to show up for them.
It goes a step further too, beyond just our loves ones: in this health crisis, let’s remember the hardest hit are the most vulnerable folks — those incarcerated, those without homes, those living in poverty, entirely alone or in crowded conditions, or without access to funds, medical care, or supports.
Others who will feel the effects will be those on the frontlines of caregiving, either in medical settings, or caring for sick loved ones at home, and doing all kinds of essential jobs.
When all else fails, we can think of gain, practice gratitude, remember empathy, and enjoy the healing powers of both.