Meet Paul: The Man Pedalling for #BikeForBetterMen
Our friend and NGM community member Paul is about to undertake a 140-km bike journey around the Niagara peninsula to fundraise for Next Gen Men, coming up on August 8th! He’s from St. Catharines and is driven to empower and educate men like him on gender equity, mental health and positive masculinities. Get to know Paul, the man behind #BikeForBetterMen.
Q: Why are you biking for Next Gen Men?
P: The pandemic has been a tumultuous time for a lot of people. After the initial wave I found myself back home, living with family, in between jobs, and with more time on my hands than I’ve ever had. I was already accepted into a new college program for fall 2021, but that was still a whole summer away. Earlier in the pandemic I had used my time to focus on personal growth and development, honing in on improving my mental and physical health. By May 2021 I found myself in a solid place personally, albeit still with a lot of time on my hands. A friend had planted the idea that maybe after so much time focusing on helping myself, I could look around and see if I could help others or make a difference in my community.
I decided that getting involved in a cause would be a great way to give back and be productive with my time, while educating myself and those around me on something that was important to me. I really wanted a cause I could speak firsthand about and my research led me to Next Gen Men. I was immediately blown away by the mission, work, and community. I personally have been working on understanding both the positive and problematic aspects of my masculinity and learning and unlearning certain behaviours, so linking up with NGM seemed like a perfect fit. Over the last few years I’ve tried to focus on becoming a better steward for gender equity, a better feminist, and a more positive ally for the boys and men in my life and I saw a real opportunity to help contribute to the ongoing conversations that NGM is facilitating.
The path of unlearning I’m on now has been productive but it’s taken a while to get here—and I still have so much more to go—but I really felt like the kind of community and curated resources NGM is offering would have been so helpful for me earlier along in my journey. I just wanted to help spread the word to the people in my life and beyond and encourage them to either learn along with me on my journey or start a journey of their own in growing in a more positive image of masculinity.
As for the biking aspect, I love being active and biking is very therapeutic for me. Don’t get it confused though, I’m just a regular amateur cyclist. But in the same way I’ve been challenging myself mentally and emotionally during this time, I also wanted to challenge myself physically. When you put yourself out of your comfort zone and test your limits, I think you can achieve great things—whether that be tackling a long-distance bike ride or reimagining your attitudes on gender and masculinity.
Q: What are some of your hopes for the next generation of men?
P: I hope that the next generation of men find themselves in a place where they can truly grow up loving all the unique characteristics and passions and qualities that they bring to the table outside of the outdated and restrictive gender expectations. I hope they can understand that masculinity is not a paint-by-numbers exercise, but rather a blank canvas that they can dare make come alive with any and all the vibrant colours they choose.
I dream of a generation of men who dress in what makes them feel beautiful, pursue passions that ignite their souls, feel an entire spectrum of human emotions freely and intensely, and communicate with raw and naked vulnerability in all their relationships. I want men to embrace each other, hold hands, smile reassuringly into each others’ eyes, say ‘I love you,’ and understand the depths and beauty of male connection. I hope the next generation of men can feel empowered to choose to be whoever they want to be, and to also feel comfortable in putting a hand on the shoulder of those men around them to let them know that it's alright to be whoever they want to be too.
Q: What is your secret talent?
P: My secret talent would be drumming. I grew up a musician with piano and guitar but soon realized that I was drawn to the rhythmic heartbeat of drumming. I started drumming at age 11 and took formal lessons for 9 years. I started off learning songs by The Beatles and Led Zeppelin before graduating to scoring out music of my own. I played drums in a high school band for fun and later a university band a bit more seriously called Sweet Jets. We recorded and released a few albums you can find on Bandcamp, toured a few shows, and played the Wolfe Island Music Festival. Fun fact: If you ever find yourself in a small indie record shop in Japan, you might see our last album on the shelves! I also was part of the Queen’s Bands drum corp for several years as a Tenor Drummer (flourishing those mallets like a champ!) and as a Snare Drummer on the drum line. And yes, I did it all that drumming while marching in full Scottish regalia—kilt and all! These days I don’t play as much but I’m constantly tapping out beats and rhythm on knees, tables, and any other surface that I can get to make a sound. You can take the boy off the drums, but you can’t take the drums out of the boy! It will forever be my passion.