An Odyssey in Black
From April 26 until May 19 2024, catch the Pleiades Theatre production of Tyson’s Song at the Factory Theatre in Toronto. Written by Peter N Bailey, Tyson’s Song delves into themes of Black masculinity, mental wellness, and friendship. Read on to hear from Peter as he shares about his own journey of vulnerability & healing.
In March of 2019, I found myself in London, Ontario for the first time since the few bus trips I made in the early 2000s on my way to Blyth, Ontario.
I was there for work where I would be playing Gabriel Maxson in a production of August Wilson’s Fences at the Grand Theatre, directed by the wonderful Djanet Sears. I’m glad to say that it turned out to be one of the most precious moments in my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better crew and cast. From the very beginning, I felt like I was thriving creatively in the rehearsal hall, and outside those walls, in the real world, I was starting to feel something akin to lightness emanating from within.
Before every show, as is my custom, I’d head backstage at the fifteen-minute call, making sure to dap everyone of my cast and crew mates along the way. I’d sit backstage, feeding off the hum of anticipation from the audience as they found their seats.
Sitting there in the dark, reciting lines, doing what I’ve done for years, unexpected tears of joy would begin to fall and that feeling of lightness permeated throughout my being.
For the first time in my life, I was free of the endless internal verbal abuse I would typically subject myself to. Within this newfound reprieve from decades-old self-loathing, I finally saw that there was hope for me.
I was beginning to feel what it meant to be free, and understand that this kind of freedom was attainable.
This moment didn’t happen out of nowhere. For the last nine years, I was, as the saying goes “doing the work.” I was fortunate to have found a therapist that I liked and had been seeing her on and off during those years; years which were difficult at times but so pivotal. I was slowly seeing that I wasn’t my trauma; that just thinking a thought doesn’t mean that it’s true; that although my hyper-vigilance might have saved me in the past, it might be preventing me from trusting or loving in the present.
The more I could grasp these truths and so many others, the more I was able to step away from that ever-familiar precipice and fall downward into thoughts of worthlessness and shame that would too often consume and isolate me.
The more I look back at this moment in my life the more I begin to understand all the steps I needed to take to get to this particular vantage point. One, which allows me the clearest view to understand who and where I’ve been; a place where I can feel my worth and enoughness coursing and resonating through my breath, blood, and bones.
The original title of the play was An Odyssey in Black. I had recently read The Odyssey and couldn’t help feeling just like this man; tired, wounded, caring, misunderstood, ignored, flawed, loving, but determined to find his way home.
I see Tyson and Bryan as men trying to find a way through. I wrote Tyson’s Song, because I believe there was a need for a new kind of conversation.
I see more and more spaces being created by black men for the purpose of connecting with other black men. There is a growing sense among us, I think, that our survival is dependent on many things, but at this moment, maybe none more important than our ability to create the kind of spaces and relationships that allow us to acknowledge our vulnerability without the fear of it being used against us. Common’s rhyme on “Real People” resounds in my mind:
“I guess knowin’ I’m weak is when I’m really bein’ strong”
It’s my wish, that a “new” conversation, would be the fertile ground upon which the fruits of togetherness, and brotherhood could potentially feed the parts of our spirits and souls that too often go deprived of the necessary love and care that is needed for them to heal and flourish.
Lastly, but not unimportant, is my genuine love for this city. Life may take me to many different places, but Toronto will always be home to me. Thank you for attending this show.
Sincerely,
PNB