Mane, Man, and Myth: the Hairy Truth About Masculinity and Patriarchy
“You’re wearing a hat too often. Your scalp needs to breathe!”
“How often are you shampooing your hair? No no no that’s far too much…”
“Lemon. Squeeze a lemon into water every morning, and when you drink it….think of long hair. Worked for my uncle.”
This is just a sample of the conflicting advice you might get for dealing with hair loss. Does any of it work? Who knows.
The real question is, what are men not willing to try when it comes to hair loss?
Think about how important our hair is to our sense of identity.
Do you remember that one time your dad, uncle, or teacher decided to shave their beard without telling anyone? And just showed up?? With a clean-shaven face?!? Remember the feeling of horror you felt seeing a face that was both familiar and foreign at the same time?
Hair loss is that feeling, but at your own face in the mirror, slowly over months and years.
As we age, we’re faced with the bitter reality that we’re not actually in control of what our bodies do. Every time we look around the shower drain or at our hairbrush and see the day's keratin casualties, we feel the pinch of anxiety knowing that in a few months or years, we might be unrecognizable.
So, naturally, we look for ways to reclaim some of this control.
We ask around for remedies or supplements. Maybe a clever style for hiding it. Through our desperation, we may also open ourselves up to snake oil remedies and misinformation.
What's more, we get swept up in the stigmas around the hair on our bodies and forget that we also have the option to push back on the supposed need to “fix” our appearance.
Why do men lose their hair?
With all that being said, it’s probably best to start by defining hair loss and explaining why it happens, and then consider whether or not we should do anything about it.
For starters, hair loss affects people across genders. Pop culture tends to focus mostly on men with hair loss, but some estimates put the number of women impacted by hair loss at 40%, so clearly this is an issue many people can relate to.
Different kinds of hair loss happen for many reasons.
For example, there is traction alopecia, caused by hairstyles that require consistent pulling or tightening. Telogen effluvium is hair loss triggered by medication, periods of extreme sickness or stress, or hormonal changes in the body from things like childbirth. Trichotillomania can also result in baldness — this is a condition that causes people to pull out their hair compulsively. There is also alopecia areata, an autoimmune condition in which the body’s immune system attacks healthy hair follicles.
The most common type, however, is hereditary pattern baldness. This kind of hair loss affects most people who are losing their hair. As we age, many hair follicles naturally stop growing hair, often in predictable patterns such as a receding hairline.
How is hair loss understood?
Regardless of the type of hair loss one might face, there are needless social costs that come along with it that have real-world consequences. Over time, stigma around hair loss has led to discrimination directed at those experiencing it.
An article in The Guardian cited a German study that submitted the same resume to several companies, with some featuring photos of bald or balding applicants and some with thick, luscious hair. Apparently, 41% of the applicants with hair were invited for an interview, whereas only 27% of the balding applicants were.
Another example of this stigma’s impact is ingraining the idea that hair is some kind of biological marker for….literally anything other than hair.
One study we found basically ran a science version of “hot or not,” where women were shown different male faces with varying amounts of facial hair and varying levels of “masculinization” and had them rate them on different scales for attractiveness and suitability as a partner. The results? Women like men with beards, and also men without beards. I know, frustrating, right?
These researchers were looking for some biological or evolutionary indicator, like women seeing beards as “markers of maturity and social dominance”, instead of thinking of us as cultural beings, informed just as much by our gender and cultural socialization to prefer what’s trending (versus some innate or biological drive). I mean, look at moustaches. No one saw them making a comeback the way they did.
On the subject of women and hair loss, the fact that female hair loss is left out of the general conversation only adds to the shame around the issue, despite female hair loss rates being almost as high as men's.
Historically, misogyny has also led to some pretty far-fetched conclusions about why women might lose their hair versus men. Take this quote from Strange Things Out of Hair: Baldness and Masculinity in Early Modern England:
“Baldness was considered a predominantly male phenomenon and, for that reason, retained its masculine connotations even if presenting a problematic version of masculinity. When women's baldness was described, the set of assumptions employed was rather different. It figured as an extreme punishment for immoral [behaviour], while men habitually grew bald for natural reasons, without having to succumb to sin to deserve it.” — Korhonen, 2010
So clearly patriarchal understandings of gender are impacting how hair loss is understood and accepted. Bald men certainly have their struggles, but overall there’s been more acceptance of men (and women) embracing male baldness. Bald or balding women, on the other hand, have an entirely different gendered experience and much less social or cultural acceptance — though this is changing now, too.
Why do we struggle to accept baldness in ourselves and others?
As previously mentioned, our hair can be a huge part of our identity. It can impact our self-worth, demarcate belonging to a particular group, and can be an important outlet for self-expression and creativity. Most people do not want to lose their hair, understandably.
Yet, if hair loss is most often simply a natural process, what’s standing in the way of embracing it more fully?
Well, as usual, capitalism played a role in the contempt we have for hair loss.
When you twist the narrative to frame hair loss as a “condition” that needs a “cure” you create a market for a whole range of products that can allegedly help fight this condition — a market that's estimated to be worth billions of dollars. The incentive to keep generating wealth is reason enough to keep the stigma of hair loss alive.
Very few people benefit from the idea that hair loss is something to be ashamed of and, if you’re reading this, you’re probably not one of them. So what do we do about it?
How do we cope with hair loss?
Well, the good news is that an overall message of body positivity is spreading across the world.
People are advocating for self-love and supporting one another in accepting themselves exactly as they are.
A lovely example of this is a subreddit built by a community of people who are or are going bald. People across genders log on to ask for opinions or support and are (mostly) encouraged through any doubts they’re having about their image or approach. Is it fair that you feel like you need to fully shave your head to look normal in our world? Maybe not, but it helps to know you’re not the only one who feels that way. There’s also discussion around treatments such as hair replacement surgery, PRP (Platelet-rich plasma treatment), or Rogaine. People provide their honest experiences with these treatments to help give one another a better understanding of the potential outcomes, risks, and benefits.
There are also more traditional approaches to hiding hair loss and gaining back some confidence. The Toupee Queen, in California, offers some pretty incredible toupees for men that blend seamlessly into their existing hair (seriously, I was amazed!).
And then there are others pushing back against the idea that we need to change ourselves at all.
Harnaam Kaur is a motivational speaker known for defying gender norms and embracing her natural facial hair. Though she’s no monarch, she’s waging war on the idea that some of us should be expected to alter our bodies to fit neatly into what’s expected of our gender. An appealing idea, particularly if you stop and do some quick mental math on just how much time and money women put into removing their body hair, and men spend putting hair back on their heads.
At the end of the day, everyone should be able to style their head, facial, and body hair however they like without feeling social pressure to do so.
Imagine how much lighter, how much more free we could feel, without the baggage of gender expectations weighing us down.
To dig into this topic even more, we’ve thought of some questions for reflection. We hope these can spark conversation for you, or reflection on your own.
Have you ever felt the need to fight or, alternatively, accept some change in your body? What did that look like and what external factors played a role in your rejection or acceptance?
How do you feel about hair loss, specifically? Who have you talked to about this? How would you like to feel about it in the future?
Do you experience a tension between self-love/acceptance (accepting hair loss) and coping methods (trying to prevent hair loss)? If so, how do you think it might be resolved?
How have patriarchal gender expectations shaped our experiences of hair loss? How is hair loss experienced differently by people of different gender identities and expressions? Why do you think that’s the case?
Why do you think that people still experience discrimination in relation to hair loss? How might this discrimination look different based on gender? How might we recognize and counteract our own biases about hair loss? What steps can we take in our immediate circles to protect ourselves and others from this type of discrimination?
If you’re curious to dive into conversations with others on topics like this one, join the NGM Community! We host discussions online and in person about the experiences of men & boys from a gender justice lens.
Alex Varoutas (he/him) is a volunteer with NGM. A curious and gifted speaker, he’ll never run out of stories, questions, and jokes! He will also make you an elaborate meal from scratch and share some songs from his eclectic music collection, if you ask nicely.
Veronika Elyk (she/her) is NGM’s community manager who works alongside our members and volunteers to build bridges, deepen understanding, and strengthen commitment to a world free from patriarchy. She’s a big fan of sour candies, books that make her cry, and the endless love of/for her friends. Catch her at NGM’s community events, or online!